50 ideas
Long distance date ideas
The default long distance date is a video call, and the trouble with a video call is that it is a conversation with nothing to do. Two people looking at each other and reporting on their week is closer to a meeting than a date. Couples who live together rarely spend an evening face to face, talking. They do something, side by side.
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So the ideas here are things to do together, with the call running in the background if at all. The activity carries the evening and the talking happens around it, which is how time together works in person.
The last section is for couples whose time zones barely overlap. A date does not have to be simultaneous. Some of the best ones are a relay.
Dates that need no planning
For a weeknight when you have an hour and no energy to organise anything.
- 1Cook the same thing in two kitchens, with the call propped up on the counter.
- 2Watch the same film, starting it on a countdown.
- 3Go for a walk at the same time and describe what you can see.
- 4Eat dinner together on a call, with no agenda.
- 5Do your own chores on a call, in companionable silence.
- 6Read in the same room, by video, without talking.
- 7Take the same online quiz and compare results.
- 8Listen to the same album from start to finish.
- 9Draw on a shared canvas while you talk.
- 10Fall asleep on the phone, if your time zones allow it.
Dates worth planning
A little preparation turns an ordinary call into an occasion.
- 1Order each other dinner as a surprise and eat it together.
- 2Post a parcel in advance and open it together on a call.
- 3Dress up properly and have a real dinner date by video.
- 4Pick a country, cook its food and watch a film from it.
- 5Do a tasting: the same three cheeses, wines or chocolates in both places.
- 6Take an online class together, such as a language or a recipe.
- 7Build the same model kit at the same time.
- 8Plan your next visit in detail, with maps open.
- 9Make each other a playlist and listen to them together.
- 10Give each other a tour of your neighbourhood on foot, by video.
Playful dates
For when it has been serious for too long.
- 1Play an online game together, a cooperative one if you argue easily.
- 2Do a crossword together over the phone.
- 3Play twenty questions, or would you rather.
- 4Each bring three two-minute videos to show the other.
- 5Hold a paper aeroplane contest and measure honestly.
- 6Draw each other from memory and reveal at the same time.
- 7Run a quiz about each other, written by each other.
- 8Watch something terrible and heckle it.
- 9Do the same jigsaw, as a race or not.
- 10Photograph five things in your home on a theme and compare.
Quiet and close
Lower energy, higher intimacy. Good for the end of a long week.
- 1Answer one big question each, properly, taking turns.
- 2Look through old photos of the two of you.
- 3Write each other a letter during the call and read them aloud.
- 4Stargaze on a call, each under your own sky.
- 5Plan a day in the life you want in five years.
- 6Read a book aloud to each other, a chapter a night.
- 7Make a list of everything you will do on the next visit.
- 8Watch the sunset in one place and the sunrise in the other, if the clock allows.
- 9Do a check-in together: best thing, worst thing, how the day felt.
- 10Sit in silence on a call for ten minutes. It is nicer than it sounds.
Dates across time zones
For when you are never free at the same time. These are relays, each half done while the other person sleeps.
- 1Leave a question for them to wake up to, and answer theirs when you do.
- 2Watch the same film on the same day and compare notes afterwards.
- 3Take a photo walk for them while they are asleep.
- 4Record a voice note about your day for their commute.
- 5Read the same book and message at the end of each chapter.
- 6Send a drawing at your bedtime that they see at their breakfast.
- 7Cook the same recipe on the same day and send the results.
- 8Keep a shared list of things to tell each other, and save them for the weekend.
- 9Each film a one-minute tour of your day, and swap.
- 10Post a photo to their home screen at the moment you would have called.
Between the dates
A date is an evening. The harder part of long distance is the six days around it, when there is no occasion and nothing in particular to say.
That is the gap HeartTap is built for. A photo or a drawing on your partner’s home screen needs no reply and no shared free hour, and the questions and the daily check-in both wait until each of you has a minute.
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Frequently asked questions
What can long distance couples do on a date?
Anything you would do side by side in person: cook, watch, play, walk. The trick is to do an activity together with the call in the background, not to sit facing each other and talk for two hours. Cooking the same meal and watching the same film are the two that almost always work.
How often should long distance couples have a date night?
Once a week is a rhythm most couples can keep. More often tends to turn it into an obligation, and less often leaves too much riding on each one. Protect the weekly one and let the rest of the week be lighter contact.
What if our time zones do not overlap?
Do the date as a relay. Watch the same film on the same day, read the same book, or leave each other a question to wake up to. A shared experience does not have to happen at the same moment to be shared.
What are good free long distance date ideas?
Most of the best ones cost nothing: a walk at the same time, the same album, a crossword over the phone, drawing together, or looking through old photos. Anything that needs a parcel or a delivery is the exception.
Put them on your home screen tonight
Free to download on iPhone and Android. Link with your partner in under a minute, then send your first photo, drawing or check-in.